Marriage is an institution. You don’t own marriage, if you must be married and should be according to the divine plan for mankind; you have to submit to its terms and conditions. Good enough to note is that the terms and conditions of marriage are not difficult for anyone who has God as his or her Father.
God, the Institutor of marriage, has the divine blueprint for which any marital relationship will be successful. What are God’s blueprints? Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.” His blueprints therefore are thus:
- Leave to cleave. Leave your old ideas, your old thinking, your old character, your old language of immaturity, your old culture and tradition, your old pride. Your parent’s pattern of marriage, idea or mistakes shouldn’t blindfold God’s purpose for your marriage. Your family affiliation shouldn’t stand in the way between you and your spouse. Your social status shouldn’t create an impediment for you. Your old friends shouldn’t be your confidants. When you say “I’m ready for marriage”, it means you’re ready to sacrifice your very self to make something you weren’t a party to establishing but you’re benefitting from work on the terms of the Owner.
- No divorce and re-marrying: Romans 7:2,3 “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress”. This is the holy truth for anyone who wants to enjoy marriage. As it is for the woman, so it is for the man. It is not possible for a man born yesterday to say he has so much knowledge today than the One who has been before him and will ever be after him. For you to have a blissful marriage, which I believe you will have, you must be ready to go with God even if it takes so much endurance and sacrifice on your part. It is impossible for you to disobey your Maker and expect to have a peaceful landing in life and eternity. God hates divorce “For the LORD God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away (divorce)…”Malachi 2:16. If you check up on the first man and woman God created, Adam and Eve, when both of them fell into a grievous sin caused by Eve, the wife, God didn’t say because Eve had done this terrible thing, therefore, He was going to create another woman for Adam. Both of them were driven out of the beautiful Garden of Eden where the man was first to dwell in due to the wife’s error, yet, Adam didn’t say he was going to send Eve away. The woman still bore children for the man and they lived together as husband and wife. Eve did not also say that because Adam was too weak to help her get off the error of deception from the serpent, she was going to divorce him. She stayed right there with him. It’s like I could hear them say to each other “we’ll go through this together, whatever it will cost us, even if we have to die, we’ll die by each other”. That’s marriage. It endures regardless of flaws.
- No Separation: In His command to leave and cleave, He meant that we shouldn’t in any way live separate from our spouses. Business, work, career pursuit or whatever shouldn’t make us stay far away and longer than expected from our spouse. There should be this longing in our heart to meet the ‘sunshine’ of our lives. No other place should be thought more comfortable than the place where ‘she is’ or ‘he is’.
- One man, one woman: The bible is God’s law book for every human. Jesus said: “But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man (singular) leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife (singular) and they twain (two, not three or more) shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh” Mark 10:6-8. It is never in the plan of God no matter human arguments, for man to marry more than one wife. God detests polygamy or polyandry.
If your marriage is falling apart or broken down, you can still pick up the broken pieces and mend it. What actually failed or broke down wasn’t marriage, what did was you. And since you’re still alive, up and doing, there are thousands of reasons why your marriage will pick up again.
The truth is you deserve a good and working marriage. Why?
- You are God’s by creation. He wants the very best for all His creatures regardless of reckless past. That’s one of the reasons you haven’t sunk into the ultimate pit of despair and destruction.
- You are human and susceptible to going astray from the right path because of the innate depravity which only God can take away from you. An unsaved soul is challenged with facing the consequences of his own errors except he or she is free.
- Because God has made a way to peace, life and satisfaction through the vicarious death of His Son Jesus Christ, who died on the cross of Calvary, bearing your sins upon Himself. “Who his own self bare our sins on his own body on the tree that we being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes, ye were healed” 1Peter 2:24. And if today all you can do is to turn from the sinful past in repentance as you express faith in Christ’s atonement for you in particular, He will pardon and forgive your sins. “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him: and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. Isaiah 55:7. Trust that word! If you do the needful in repentance and faith in God’s only Son, who sacrificed His life so that you will not perish, you will be forgiven and your marriage will be set on the path of quick recovery.
When you come to God for the recovery of your marriage, you must give up pride and humble yourself. For a patient to get good medical treatment, he or she regardless of his or her status must submit to the doctor’s instructions, medical advice and prescriptions before the healing process will be set in motion. It won’t be nice to dictate the terms of a surgery to your surgeon, who has the years of experience, expertise and instruments to help you get rid of a stone in that part of your body.The best way to get solutions to your marriage problems is to first say “yes” to God.